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Joy CHIANG JH

Juyoi Chiang

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Geylang Methodist Primary,
Geylang Methodist School Secondary,
Nanyang Academy Of Fine Arts
(Design & Media)

This is the only place for me to share my happiness & the only space for me to dump my sorrows. I fall in love with beautiful colours and the silence of late nights.



Saturday, July 23, 2011

I should stop listening to emo songs
In case i cant stop crying, like now.
Okay, just let me feel up the day's event be4 all the emotions comes in.
Rollerbladed with khoon and dong.
Good news!
Nobody fell =) *claps*
Almost, but didnt xD
Decided to go lan, so they ask me to get kor to come along...
But he was busy/ didnt want to come.
We went to lan in the end.
And we saw him!
LOLS...
He kinda ignored me-.-
But its okay.. cos i know his situation =)
Or at least tats how i tried to convince myself over a 'saddist friend'/ 'saddist sibling'.
Alright now i shall just let my emotions flow okay?
I hope i can...but i cant
Cos thr are so many restrictions.
I seldom hate myself so much...
I seldom dont have goals, or dont know wat is it tat i want.
I seldom cry.
Now i feel like flooding the place.
Becos...??
God knows why!!!
Anyways... i really enjoyed myself today.
Everything is perfect.
Had so much fun... laugh so much.
How the day passes off really doesnt matter,
Happy or sad, the problem is still thr.
Another thing is tat... i find tat thr are only very few ppl i can talk to..
And i dont want to lose any of them...
For a social pariah like me.... all are precious..
Among them... only 2 ppl i can talk to abt anything...
Cos not everyone is suited for everything.
But i think im losing 1 of them...
I felt tat im annoying...
Pillow's soak wet.
Thr are many different tears..
Tears of joy, and tears tat just drop down becos u just yawned..
But true tears are those tat makes u look ugly with those red and swollen eyes tat remains thr for another day.
Sad to say im having those.
And i find myself uglier each day.
Maybe im losing my confidence or watever.
Or it shouldnt be thr in the first place......



Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Just 3 days ago was khoon's mother's bday.
We had our dinner celebration at dian xiao er.
Maybe i was hungry so i ate quite alot hahahas!! xD
Tats kinda embarrasing though... and sometimes awkard, to have to eat with 'not-related ppl'.
Not entirely unrelated, just 'not related yet'.
Feels weird in any case.
1st time sitting in khoon's bro-in-law's car.
Pretty safe driver, but someone whom smokes in the car o.o
So glad my bf doesnt smoke, or i'll be 'barberqued' before he died from lung cancer.
One thing to note frm the whole car trip.
Khoon was playing with some cute infamous soft toy, with it's eyes closed and seemed asleep,
he puppeted it so tat it walks and asked me what it looked like.
Guess what i said?
I innocently respond :' plant vs zombie'.
hahahas!! I made me laugh even now as i was typing it out xD
Well, guess these are the memories tat only belongs to the 2 of us.
Speaking of memory, i kinda hate it tat i forget lots of things.., over time.
Couldnt call it short term memory? Plain forgetful perhaps.
Sometimes thr are too many feelings i want to kip in my head, or in my heart.
But as time pass, it just fade, uncontrollably.
Which makes blogging so important.
Ytd was a disaster.
God brother didnt turned up as promised.
Got really upset, was really tired for no reason, my mood was down, didnt enjoy shopping with christy, well its not her fault at all. I still think i bore her.... hahas
Well, things are better off, we texted a few, sort out the feelings, and we are back to normal agn.
Didnt texted me today but he came asking abt my life instead.
Irony huh?
Just as i were giving my brain orders to signal, fate just made it happened.
Im glad we are good to each other now.
Today's studio was fascinating!
Had practice as a full grp, talked more, had a great time, had test shots...
Hate it when im not photogenic at all...
And i admit i couldnt dance really well too... =(
Nvm tat, i'll just have to try harder, fast.
Hope we get to rollerbalde this sat!
It will be fun, and my arcane boots wont have to rot xD
Tmr's hp7 part II with khoon.
Consider it a date <3
I so love him!
We are having telepathy hahas, for 2 days.
Such a coincidence???=)
Alright, as i were finally getting bk from being nocturnal, its time to slp now.
talked much, recorded loads, and will write more next time, soon!



Sunday, July 17, 2011

Its 6.45am Sunday morning now,
and im on my way to khoon’s hse with breakfast.
I didn’t wanna get out of the hse when its still so dark but I had nothing else to do.
Too afraid to fall asleep I guess o.o
Been watching movie ‘Saw I’ and ‘Saw II’.
I admit it wasn’t tat gruesome as the rumors.
Though it still made me freak out many many times=(
Tried to call khoon so tat he can kip me ‘mentally company’ while im still on the bus.
He didn’t pick up=.=
Which makes me emo over this thing tat ive been emo-ing for the past days.
I had nobody else to call o.o
Like lum,tay,Frederick( speaking of which makes me upset), could call none of them.
Maybe its too early, and it just wasn’t the time to be disturbing unless life threatening situations…
or I just tot tat they wont bother.
Maybe this just aren’t close friends, or close enough.
Had been nocturnal these days.
Sleeping during the day and watching movies at night.
Last night ( I mean last last night/Friday night) was fun~
Khoon kinda stayed over becos we he fell asleep during the ‘movie’ we watched.
He went home in the morning though.
But those pop corns are sofa bed totally owned me, though we did nothing much,
I enjoyed myself.
Today wasn’t so good, nothing special except a new audition cpl.
He sort of told me he is a gangster ( not agn-.-)…
Have had too much I guess.
Speaking of which, I vomited out my dinner o.o
For no reason.
I don’t feel sick and I can still eat=)
Khoon was next to me ^^
LOLS.
He saw me jump up after a 20 mins nap and then sit up, and ran to the toilet, hugging the toilet bowl.
Well, I could say, this vomit session is one of the easiest and less suffering ones.
Typing on the bus like now makes me wanna vomit too-.-
Anyway… been really upset with Frederick these days.
If u realize, I hadn’t been calling him as ‘kor’.
Cos he didn’t even bother to text me, text me back, or whatever.
To him, blackshot is everything.
Feels like strangling him now, if I could.
Its 5.45pm now.
Just had ‘breakfast’ and woke up hehe ^^
Totally forgot what to write le.
Forget it bah! Back to playing audi =)



Thursday, July 14, 2011

Its late.
Lying on the bed and felt tat im too awake.
Slept in the afternoon becos the whole of last night was watching moonlight resonance.
As expected from a hong kong drama, the ending satisfy me a lot.
Compared to korean’s emo ending and jap’s mysterious ending.
I looked into my phone’s contact and sighed.
There are so many ppl out thr, and none of them I really wanted to talk to.
Khoon’s slping now and I didn’t wanna ‘disturb’.
He cant kip me company only anyway since his laptop is still under maintanence.
My mood today wasn’t feeling good.
I was my assigned class, DM2M.
Same with winnie’s bf next yr… looked at the modules im gonna take and yes im pretty relieved its gonna be less art related now.
At first I wanted to be in 2L but then when I took a closer look, im so glad im in 2M=)
Most of the afternoon and evenings are free. Monday is the most hectic and Tuesday,Thursday,Friday are resting days=)
Im going in school and register for some modules when school starts.
I don’t really understand the system o.o
Anyway im going to change wash the cage tmr.
They are fighting so much, which makes me feel hopeless.
I cant be 24/7 beside them to stop the war nor I can separate them well.
Even pests are attacking the cage now=(
Just a note, I finished watching X-Men first class online just now.
Its kinda cool!=)
Like it explained how everything begins.
Zi xuan sms-ed me today.
She is complaining abt the camera.
Fighting over it with my sister.
Apparently I feel kinda bad not lending it to her( not tat I don’t want, its my sister-.-)
She says she need it for wat NDP for the following days-.-
But I doubt so, she might be using it to take down moments of her advanced bday celebration.
On the other hand, zi xuan’s daddy used to lend me his camera when im in need for my sch assisgment.
Though tats not the only reason why I want to lend her.
Its all too late to say now becos no matter what she cant be able to get it already.
So.. forget it!=(
Idk why im feeling so down today.
I wanted laogong to stay by my side, despite being a Thursday-family day.
Im so bad right…. I made him lie.
Hmm… maybe PMS is real hehe xD

Food for thought: Do u have to act emo or be emo to gain attention?? I do feel its necesarry sometimes, maybe im pyschologically sick in the mind. To feel tat i need more attention, and not just from 1 person, from 2, from 3, but more than tat.....Or maybe i just want to feel tat my 'friends' actually care.



Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Its 5:55am now.
So early in the morning yet im not asleep yet...
A gush of feelings flow over me suddenly.
I knew tat i have to blog today if not someone would be upset=)
Not many things happened today..
As usual chasing the hong kong drama moonlight resonance.
If i have so many siblings i would faint hahas!
Actually i have so many things to kip note, but refuse to hang them here...
Some things just dont need to be advertised.
At night... had a meeting with dayan senpai and A-star.
Once again we are framed for 'making a din in the lobby quarreling with bf'.
We might/might not be making a little noise.
Even if we did, we are sure we didnt disturb anyone or cos any inconvenience.
This is the 2nd time those ppl frame us.
The 1st was 'playing computer in dance studio'.
Tot we settled it? Now it comes again.
Im not angry, im not upset... just disappointed.
If the band really did something wrong, i will apologise to whoever.
The fact is, we didnt.
I couldnt take it anymore...
But i feel tat its not fair for dayan, its not his fault but he has to listen to us cursing.
And its not his fault but i feel so bad tat i want to not perform the dance tat we've practice for so long.
In fact, H,C, and me arent ready.
Not to say J, i know she learns fast, but dancing is abt team, not individual+ ive not hear her sing yet.
We really dont have much time..
I really dont want the band to perform like clowns.
And dont want to disappoint yp and other companies coming down.
Im so half-hearted abt practice tmr....
the band, im not even sure if they are moving with me, or we are moving individually.
Just like jyen, she says she can make it, and all of a sudden, she cant.
Im really depressed.
I have no idea what to do...
Is it really worth it for me to put in so much effort when nobody really appreciates or need it?
Maybe im just being extra.
Maybe i think too much.
Maybe they dont even need all these im giving.
Sometimes i really think tat way...
Winnie kip mentioning studies.
Yup, its important, but i dont think she wont take time for hafiz.
Jyen, final year, important with project, i dont even get the chance to know her well, plus she say she has no interest in the industry.
Christy, so far so good? But her singing and dancing is normal.
In the industry, dont need a person to be 70/100 in everything. Even if u score 20/100 for some, as long as u score 90/100, u are the one.
Hope she understands tat.
As for me. im still not satisfied with my dance, or my singing, still trying to perfect.
But im already so vexed, the pap gives me problem, even my own band mates are stressing me out without them knowing.
Pressure T.T
In the end i still use this post to complain abt life.
LOLS.... forget it...=( Dont think too much and catch a good slp.
Anyway im waiting for my laogong to come out with a scedule for me to study.
Ive always been planning and planning.... hopefully one lovely soul comes out to plan for me...
Which is my laogong... Love u much! I know u would read this... and..
Just now i had noodles agn, to take medicine=)
And i ate the left over sweet hehe ^^
Oh ya! I left kiwi's hse open and u know wat!
She tried to climb out!
Luckily i saw her reflection in the dark room and helicopter her back =)
Cute isnt she?????
Im going to slp soon hahas...
Anyway..... happy bday brother!!!!^^



Saturday, July 9, 2011

Was watching (heart of greed) for the past 2 days =)
Khoon was pestering me to blog all the time hehe ^^
Today i rebonded my hair!
Its all straight agn...
Though all of a sudden i looked flat o.o
Well... maybe its also becos of the medicine-.-
Its making all my pimples pop out =(
Ytd had my dance practice first time with yang jia min.
As expected, she is so good hahas ^^
Not only did she laerns fast, she gave some conventional comments on how our formation would be.
Im really looking forward to the photoshoot we will be having soon...
Though we haven really decide on the theme yet=)
And i wonder whne my complexion is gonna get better-.-
Kiwi is slping next to me today=)
And im gonna eat fishball noodle tmr agn!
Good night love me muack!



Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Just came back home!=)
Wow its late, i know =P
Had movie with laogong and dong ^^
Its a damn long movie... 2h45mins? O.O
Would have rated it 5 stars if it wasnt so long... sit until my butt pain =(
Still it deserve 4 stars for being long but not long winded=)
Dont really know if the human main actor is the main actor or the transformers are...
But it doesnt really matter becos both of them dont look handsome/cute/hot.
not even the lead actress-.-
Nevertheless, i believe it would have been really cool if we watched it in 3D.
Before tat, we brought some laughter to ppl on the bus and ppl in the elavator.
LOLS!
why?????
We ordered like 35+ colored plates and 10 plates of salmon sashimi.
Yes, we all almost puked.
Hehe xD
Ah dong: I can feel the salmon swiming inside me.
Laogong: Later the samlon swim out of ur ass.
Me: It's making friends with the shrimp u ate.
Hahas!!
Felt so proud of us o.o
Think the buffet is TOOOOOOOO worth it o.o
Okay! Now imma going to play dota with laogong le!=)
hope i can perform hehe ^^



Monday, July 4, 2011

Im back!

Back to blogging probably=)
Its been a long time coming yay!
Blogging is really important as it kip tracks of all the memories hahas xD
Today was a short day for me... in a few mins, im gonna slp!
Woke up at 3+ going 4, met with laogong to have Brunch =P
The korean bbq doesnt taste like korean, well, at least its edible ^^
Ah dong went to khoon's hse too!
We played 2 games of cluedo LOLS!!
All died hahas why?
Cos laogong la!
Anybody tat sit next to him will become mentally retarded o.o???
first was ah dong, next is me.
We had a good chatting session after the game and all the way till my hse=)
Didnt know tat khoon was so affected by the 'ah nan' story?!!!
Whats the point man.... hehe xD
Its just a story afterall...
Lookin forward to movie tmr!
Watching transformers at..... *dont know whr*
Feel like having ***** for tmr xD
yup its in asterisks. If u can guess it, good for u! If u cant, im not telling! =P
Not to forget, i wore a sexy top today lols...
Was center of attraction as we walked around~
its really soft and i really like it=)

Joke of the day: Khoon texted the hairdresser : "Joy wants to reborn this saturday."
Omg, do i? Im afraid reincarnation would be more painful than death! @.@
Oh... he was trying to say rebond-.-

Food for thought: What is the point of waiting for thousands of yrs, just to be tgt? Or wat is the point of waiting 1000 of years just to realize tat ur love isnt tat much in the end...? Sometimes, some1 just fail to appreciate u no matter how hard u try. Life is balanced... turn around the corner and u will see some1 trying hard for u. tats only the person u should work hard for =)